Reader Reflections, Part One
ACNAtoo has been reflecting on what we’ve each learned during our first year and we invited you to share your thoughts as well. The following reflection was submitted by one of our readers.
It's hard to believe that it's been a year already, and at the same time, it seems like a very long time. I had experienced the effects of clergy abuse in multiple congregations and was living among a group of friends who had their own experiences. I remember the sense of isolation because we didn't know about the situations at other churches. Many of those friends were barely hanging on to the local group of churches and could not trust the clergy. I had my own experiences that were less well known.
When I started reading about the initial ACNAtoo situations, they felt familiar; my soul knew those experiences, even though they were happening to different people. I knew the devastation of realizing that the church that seemed so perfect and so loving was not as loving to some people. Over the years, I've found that truth resonates within my soul. I felt the truth ringing.
A former church sent out a "PR type" email which I knew was far from the truth. I reached out to a friend who connected me with the group and with an advocate.
My advocate (now friend) got an up-close view of what sometimes happens when survivors try to go to their church leadership. She was my "empathetic witness" (Peter Levine) as we processed what happened, keeping the trauma from getting stuck.
The biggest impact that ACNAtoo has had on me is combating the sense of isolation. Trauma and abuse are inherently isolating, and survivors often lose their community when they start speaking the truth about their experiences. Sometimes, it's hard to know whether they are the only one who has had these experiences. Without community, we can get stuck in our own thinking and have a hard time knowing the truth. Having someone validate our experiences is healing; hearing "me too" is powerful.
Thank you all for the work that you have done and are continuing to do to move us all to a more healthy expression of our faith.
We invite further reflections from our readers.